Celebrating 20 years
Jeff and I celebrated 20 years of marriage last week.
I could wax poetic about how he is the best thing to ever happen to me, that he has fulfilled my dreams, that he has been the most wonderful partner a woman could ask for, but that is not my style.
He is all those things, of course, but there is more to the story.
No one thought we were going to last. Jeff and I met online—on JDate—a few days after I told my first husband to leave. We had our first date a month after we started chatting. We were pregnant a month after that. I can’t blame anyone for assuming he was the rebound guy and that maybe the baby wasn’t his. He wasn’t and it was.
While I was still healing from a bad marriage, I could see the signs that our marriage would be successful.
He made me laugh daily.
For our third date, he accompanied me to my cousin’s bar mitzvah, met my father’s side of the family that night, and handled it like a pro.
He could tease me about my foibles and it didn’t hurt.
Without being asked, he was my partner and cheerleader in everything.
When we brought our first born home, he was as stunned as I was at being a parent.
Once we put the sleeping baby in the crib, he went out to pick up McDonald’s for both of us, instinctively knowing fries and a McChicken would be comforting.
We built Ikea furniture together and didn’t kill each other.
We backed a trailer into a camping site and didn’t file for divorce.
He travelled extensively for the first fifteen years of our marriage.
We shared the excitement of moving to a new city where we knew no one and had no support. We did that twice.
You know what? I will wax poetic. My first marriage was so horrible, but Jeff taught me to trust again. He gave me a safe place to land, a wonderful life I’d been raised to believe I could never have, and a family that is so close, others are sometimes envious. We love each other so genuinely, we could write a how-to manual.
The last 20 years have been a ride. Like any couple, we’ve had highs and lows, arguments and agreements. They say marriage is work, and that’s not wrong. But they also say when you love what you do—or who you’re with—it doesn’t feel like work at all.
Thank you, Jeff, for making it a pleasure to wake up next to every morning.
xo Dana
In May of 2022, Jeff and I appeared in the New York Times Tiny Love Stories.
What I’m reading
I’ve been in a bit of a slump after completely losing interest in a book at page 437 of 597 pages. For the first time in my life, I skimmed the pages to the end, and the payoff was not even there. This was an Oprah book club selection, and I can’t figure out why. It’ll probably win a bunch of awards. 🤷♀️
I’ve got three books waiting for me on my shelf, but I think I’ll take a break and watch some Doctor Who. I’ve never watched a single episode of the franchise, but I’m a Ncuti Gatwa (Eric from Sex Education) fan and what I’ve seen in clips shows some promise.
Great picture! Happy 20th anniversary! 😍